a funny - read and discard

[bholmes@frii.com (Ben Holmes)]

do not reply to this! it's funny, not offensive, and will only appeal to
those of you with a sense of humor and an above average IQ. "hmmpff", you
say, "clearly that is me"

Federal Housing Administration

     A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA (Federal Housing Administration)
loan
     for a client.  He was told that the loan would be granted if he
could prove
     satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as
collateral.
     The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer
three
     months to track down.  After sending the information to FHA, he
received
     the following reply:
     "Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan
application, we
     note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title.  While
we
     compliment the able manner in which you prepared and presented the
     application,  we must point out that you have only cleared the
Title to the
     proposed collateral  property back to the year 1803.  Before final
approval
     can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to
it's
     origin."

     Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:
     "Your letter regarding Titles in Case No. 189156 has been
received.  I note
     that you wish to have Titles extended further than the 194 years
covered by
     the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in
this
     country, particularly those working in the property arena, would
not know
     that Louisiana was purchased by the U.S. from France in 1803, the
year of
     origin identified in our application.  For the edification of
uninformed
     FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was
obtained
     from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain.
The
     land came into possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in
the year
     1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been
granted the
     privilege of seeking a new route to India by the then reigning
monarch,
     Isabella. The good queen, being a pious woman and careful about
titles,
     almost as much as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the
blessing of
     the Pope before she sold her jewels to fund Columbus' expedition. 
Now the
     Pope, as I'm sure you know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the
Son of
     God. And God, it is commonly accepted, created this world.
     Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that He also made that
     part of the world called Louisiana.

     Now, may we have our damn loan


- -- 

   Why experiment on animals when there are so many lawyers?


Regards,



Ben W. Holmes
Boulder, CO

visit my web site at http://www.frii.com/~bholmes/
Leica serial numbers and Leica classifieds at
http://www.frii.com/~bholmes/photodat.htm